We're talking roid rage

[Don MacLeod]

I had December off from life-long Chemo & started back January 4th. Unlike previous cycles,  I cloistered away in our home for several days.  What set me off was that my prior approval, but not my  prescription for ambient had run out.  The pharmacy tech wrongly suggested that my insurance had changed.  Needing to sleep we paid the full prescription cost, a day later gained better pharmacist provided guidance & after two more days the issue was productively resolved.   But the process had left me dysfunctional & socially house ridden.   Today,  I  again got chemo (folfiri and erbitux) & my oncologist listened to this story.  My instructions are to not take prednisone when so upset.  The lesson to share is that expected reactions can change after a break from your chemo routine.

 

Hold Fast

Don MacLeod    

[Jeanne A]

Hi Don, I can totally relate to what happens when we resume chemo.  I was off for over 5 months until the middle of December.  Here we go again.  The first treatment back was horrible.  Same drug, same dose, worse side effects.  In talking with other Stage 4 survivors they have experienced similar things - the first one after a break is tough.  Then the body adapts, and it gets a little more manageable.

I have to tell you that I needed some help managing anger yesterday in the Whole Foods parking lot.  I don't know where it came from, I had just been at an acupuncture appt, and she parked so close I couldn't get out of my car without hitting her fancy suv.  I lit into her verbally, and 'energetically' threw up all over her (not in reality).  Afterwards I wondered where that came from.... often I find that when I feel like someone has 'wronged' me, or not been considerate of me, I get really angry.  I think I have a big chip on my shoulder, and I feel like the world owes me something because of this cancer ordeal.  

I figured out the other day that making it through chemo is all about managing side effects, as you know.  After my first chemo after returning, we adjusted the nausea meds, and I'm doing better.  Each course of chemo the dominant side effect changes.  This time I think it'll be the diarrhea, so I'm learning to manage that.  

As you so famously advise others, hold fast.  You're not alone, as you know.  Plenty of us 4's are here for you, and pulling for you.

Warmly,

Jeanne A

[Martha]

It's not easy to cope and deal with issues on a daily basis, for sure. We are here to help if you need to vent!

[Don MacLeod]

Thanks Jeanie

Our local paper periodically runs bad social behavior stories. Road rage arrests, hot coffee assaults or the bad parent at the soccer game. The world has enough such nuts. I was just too primed for a fight to leave the house. It took me a few days to cope and gain back control. Talking with my blue cross case worker helped. Dana-Farber offers hand & foot massages at the clinic, I might try to see if that makes the time in chair a more positive brain stimulation experience.

Thanks & Hold Fast
Don MacLeod

[Jeannie Moore]

Thanks for sharing Don.  Our coping skills are already depleted when we are feeling sick, which also means our patience is gone too!  I'm not surprised you took to your bed.  Were you able to listen to the tele-chat a few weeks ago?  Jay's story offers a few new ideas regarding his care because he works so closely with his integrative doc AND his onco at UCSF.  Dana Farber does have an integrative department. 

http://www.dana-farber.org/For-Adult-Cancer-Survivors/Experts-Speak...

thinking of you, stay warm!

jeannie